Are you feeling paranoid

I have never been a person that is constantly afraid of something going wrong with my health or of dying. In fact, I have spent most of my life without fears about health or death. My wife, on the other hand, has always been really concerned about issues relating to her health and to the health of the ones she loves most. I guess some would call her paranoid about health issues.

I had never met someone so paranoid about health issues until I met my wife. It took me a few years to really understand where she was coming from when she would urge me to the doctor at the first sign of a cough or cold. I spent the first years of my married life quite frustrated by her and her constant paranoid ideas about our health and life.

My wife decided to begin going to counseling to discuss her issues of being paranoid about health and disease and dying. She asked me to accompany her and I agreed with great joy. I wanted to take every opportunity I could not only to understand my wife, but also to learn how I could better partner with her and understand her needs. I had no idea just how paranoid she was about sickness and death, nor do I think she knew, until we walked away from her first counseling session a few years ago.

The counselor quickly pointed out that her extremely paranoid thoughts and feelings about every symptom that may be abnormal were directly tied to losing her mother suddenly when she was a young girl. Of course, both of us had thought about the possibility of that connection, but never before had we so seriously thought through the implications of a small child losing her mother without warning.

Of course losing a parent unexpectedly would create the atmosphere for possible paranoid thoughts and feelings about death. If your mother had no symptoms of sickness and then she suddenly died, why wouldn't you be paranoid that one day you would just die as well? My wife's paranoid thoughts and feelings were being explained to her and to myself in ways we had never thought of before.

She has been able to find almost total freedom from her paranoid thoughts of death and dying as she has come to grips with the fact that her mother's death was not her fault and that sometimes sickness and death gets the best of us. If you or someone you know struggles with paranoid thoughts as well, I'd urge you to get into a counselor as soon as possible. You do not have to live that way any longer.

How much news is good news

I'm not sure if the timing of last month's "news free zone" assignment could have been worse or better. Coming just two days after the devastating tsunami hit Asia, how could I realistically expect you to take a two-day break from the news? I wonder if it seemed a bit callous of me to suggest such a thing. But here's the interesting part: when I sent out the newsletter, I was in the middle of a weeklong news strike and had not yet heard about the disaster. While the rest of the world was watching the tragedy unfold, I was engaged in the act of hibernation.

When I did hear about it, I pondered the implications of "missing" this huge event. As much as I'd like to imagine that my knowledge of the event might have had some positive effect on the region, I'm fairly certain that the people affected by the tsunami did not notice my ignorance.

On a more personal level, if I had learned about the tsunami when it first struck, the information junky part of me would have pushed for an aggressive campaign of information gathering. I only have to look back to the last Gulf war for an example. During the height of that war, I was logging over an hour each day of online newsgathering. Calculating it out, over the course of that war I spent over forty hours gathering information that is of limited (or no) use.

I'll stop short of calling that time wasted for it provided me with a wonderful opportunity to reevaluate my priorities. And that experience has informed my actions regarding the tsunami. Instead of diving into the photographs, videos, stories and discussions of the event, I have limited my newsgathering to brief updates.

My pondering also led me to the question of value: what is the value of newsgathering? What benefit does it provide? How does it serve me, my family, my community, the people affected by a news event? Again, I asked myself of what use is the time I spend watching, reading, or listening to the news? As with my Gulf War newsgathering experience, it is difficult for me to come up with ways in which the gathering of information is of much use.

In this age of instant information access we have the capacity to become passive observers of events anywhere in the world literally within seconds. With that ability comes a risk and a challenge.

The risk is that observing geographically inaccessible events - especially tragic events - can create a sense of helplessness within us. My personal experience shows that the act of newsgathering sets up a self-perpetuating cycle of disempowerment: we watch the news, get upset by it, feel there is nothing we can do to help, get more upset, watch more news in the hope that it will get better. . . but it never does.

The challenge then, is to find a way to break that cycle of disempowerment and balance our desire to be informed with our desire to be present in our own lives and actively contribute to the improvement of our world.

How can we do that? Here are some suggestions.

The most important step is to limit newsgathering time. If you currently watch the morning and evening news on TV, try to skip one. If you listen to news radio on your commute to and from work, switch to music or books on tape for one direction. If your Internet homepage displays news headlines, switch to a news-less homepage and choose your newsgathering time.

The next step is to re-empower yourself, to shift from a place of helplessness to an awareness that you have the power to provide valuable support and assistance. You have specific skills and resources you can apply to places and people in need. Here are just a few ways to turn your talents into tangible support.

Send positive thoughts and prayers:

While this may not seem to be a "tangible" action, it is. You've heard of the power of positive thinking related to your own beliefs and goals, but that power extends to everyone in the world. Everything on this Earth is connected in ways that we are only just beginning to comprehend. When you consciously take time during the day to "beam" your positive thoughts and prayers to the people affected by tragedy, those thoughts and prayers are definitely received. You may not see the results of your actions, but you are providing a wonderful gift to those people.

Donate money:

While the life costs can never be fully measured, the financial estimate for the healing, cleanup, and rebuilding in the aftermath of this disaster is well into the billions of dollars. What you can give may seem insignificant compared to the total amount needed, but it is through the power of collective giving that significant help is provided. Many of our local stores have set up collection funds. When I add a $5.00 contribution to an $85.00 grocery bill, the effect on me is hardly noticed, but when Whole Foods combines the contributions from all of their customers, the impact on the lives of those in Asia will be considerable.

Volunteer locally:

By cutting down on your newsgathering time you will create a chunk of extra time. If you devote some of this "extra" time to local organizations, you begin to actively break out of the cycle of helplessness. When you serve food at a local homeless shelter, or feed an injured bird at a wildlife rescue center, or provide after-school tutoring to children in underserved neighborhoods, you are able to witness the immediate, tangible and powerful effect that you can have on the world.

Come up with your own ways of breaking the cycle. How can you empower yourself? What skills, talents or resources can you contribute to people and places in need?

Envision and create your ideal balance between newsgathering and active engagement. In the quote above T. S. Eliot asks, "Where is the life lost in the living?" Stop losing your life to the news and start living in the way that feels right to you.

Are you ready for love

Are you at a place in your life where you aren’t attracting the love you want? Has your current relationship lost its sizzle? What prevents you from being ‘in love’? How much energy do you exert NOT to love yourself or others? It takes more effort NOT to love, than to love.

Want More Love and Joy?

In order to make room for what you do want, you have to release and let go of the things you don’t want. To attract what you want, you will want to let go of everything that keeps you away from Love. Like attracts like.

Unless you want to continue on your current path, you are probably overdue of letting go of emotional pain of a break-up, past failures or the need for approval. Maybe you continuously seek recognition at work or have unrealistic expectations for yourself. Thoughts like, “I’m not attractive” or “I will never have a loving relationship” need to be purged.

What You Resist – Persists

As long as you continue to resist painful memories and limiting thoughts and beliefs you create separation. You create separation from your true self. You separate yourself from what you are ‘love’! And, love remains illusive.

Are you resisting painful experiences from your past? Are you doing everything you can to forget the past? Maybe you think that the more you put your past behind you, the less effect it will have on you.

Do you spend hours contemplating problems? When you focus on your problems, they persist. Your contempt for your problems fuels and strengthens them. The more energy you direct to your problems and pain, you create ‘stress’ and ‘dis-ease’.

Are You Holding on to Pain?

Do you find yourself watching endless hours of TV? Are you trying to escape emotional and spiritual pain by taking drugs or alcohol? Do you overeat to escape the pain? Do you use your computer for hours on end to escape? What distractions take you out of being present with what you are feeling? Stored up pain such as hatred, anger, fear, frustration, apathy, depression etc. become scattered in your body and energetic space.

Releasing Stuck Pain or Resistance

If you have ever been light-headed from hunger and then felt a sigh of contentment as you fed your body the perfect meal, you’ve experienced grounding. If you’ve ever melted into the back rub you got from a trusted person at the end of a stressful day, you’ve experienced being grounded.

Grounding is a simple process of connecting to the Earth that many people do naturally throughout the course of a day. Anything that brings you to the sense of pleasure and release is grounding. When you are grounded, you feel centered focused, and present.

People connect with their bodies and the Earth in many ways: through touch and body work, through eating, through being out in nature or in water, through contact with animals and through healthy sex. Visualizing, an imaginary grounding cord, is a way to release foreign energy from your body so that it can experience love and joy.

Create a Path for Releasing to Feel Safe and Happy

A grounding cord provides a way to flush out pent up energy and emotion so you can feel good about yourself. It is a way to move energy as it comes towards you, rather than letting it get stuck in the body. When foreign energy gets stuck in the body, it stops the natural flow of energy and might manifest as depression, a migraine headache, aches, pain, or eventually illness.

Effortless Release Every Day for More Love

Grounding works much like a drain or waterfall. When you pour water down the drain you probably never wonder ….:”where did it go?” Be patient with yourself and have fun with your new toy. Grounding becomes as natural like breathing or smiling with practice.

Consider releasing other people’s problems, your worries and anxiety that are weighing you down... Keep it simple and stay amused with yourself. Tune into being in harmony with this process of grounding and letting everything go effortlessly.

Grounding is such an invaluable tool in healing yourself that it’s worth taking the time to be sure you can do it easily and comfortably. With practice, you can train yourself to be connected with the earth all of the time. Don’t create any limits for yourself on how much you can release without effort.

Grounding Cord Visualization

To revitalize and refresh your body, mind and spirit take the first step by letting go with grounding. It is always the first step to all the subsequent steps in this book. From the base of your spine, make a connection to the healing planet energy to release excess energy and stabilize your body.

1. Close eyes but stay focused.

• Be aware of own body with your feet flat on the floor.

Create a mental image of line of energy between base of spine and the center of the planet.

• Connect a grounding cord into the center of earth.

• Secure the grounding cord snuggly at the base of your spine.

• Notice your breathing.

• Using the gravitational pull of the planet start to release foreign or stuck energy from your body and aura.

• Notice how your body feels while grounding. Imagine seeing stuck energy draining out of you.

Remember to:

1. Start your day with by grounding yourself.

2. Check in with yourself during the day to see if you have a grounding cord.

3. Notice what happens in your body as you release using your grounding cord.

Grounding is one way to bring your self back into alignment with your essence – love. Practice the following grounding meditation 10-15 minutes each day. The more you practice to better your results.

Amirah © 2006 All Rights Reserved.

You have permission to publish this article electronically or in print, free of charge, as long as the bylines are included. A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated.

What is narcissistic personality disorder and how to deal with it now

Narcissistic personality disorder is a personality disorder that is shown by having a grandiose state of mind in young adults. The number of people with this disorder is highly disputed with some theories stating that it can be as high as one percent of the population. However, most experts agree that this is not the case and the actual statistics are much lower. Narcissistic personality disorder is also disputed as the cause. There are two basic theories. One being that the disorder is caused by early trauma causing developmental disorders. Another theory is that it is learned behavior that has no basis in a clinical cause.

If the origin of the disease is clinical in nature and caused by early developmental issues, the hope for treatment is not good. Because it is not a psychological issue and there are no known medical treatments for the disease, if it is a physical issue, there may not be anything or much that can be done to treat it. However, if the disease is psychological in nature, there is hope for treatment. The behavior can be relearned to something that is more socially acceptable. However, those who are in treatment for this disease show slow progress if any at all.

The reason for this is narcissists by their nature have an inflated view of themselves. Therefore they rarely think there is a problem. Even if they are in treatment, studies show it takes years to make any significant progress. Health insurance companies have varying policies on coverage for this disorder but for the length of time treatment is needed in order to be successful, there will likely need to be a significant out of pocket expense. Narcissistic personality disorder will cause problems at home and in a career. A narcissist will not be able to sustain a healthy relationship for very long and will also have significant problems in productive activities like work or school. They will believe they have a grand life with lots of friends and an unending opportunity for wealth or fame. They will react offensively when the reality of a situation intrudes and have a tendency to blame others for anything negative that may happen in their lives.

9 steps to living abundantly

Many of us are bowed down by life – stressed, short of time, tired, on a treadmill, knowing that this isn’t the way to live, but not knowing how to free ourselves up to live more fully, more abundantly. There are simple things we can do – they don’t take time or money – they take a change of attitude. Here are 9 of them:

1. Being totally financially honest – if you are not, this implies that there is not enough for you to have everything you need without dishonesty.

2. Creating a vacuum so that more good things can flow into it – don’t fill your life up with things you don’t really want. Ask yourself if you want each thing before you buy it. Don’t have abundant rubbish, live abundantly by seeking out the things and experiences that work for you in your core being.

3. Tithing is often associated with religion, but it is also possible to tithe in a non-religious context. This seems a really important aspect of living abundantly – every time you freely give money away, you are implying that you are confident that more will come – this is a BIG positive affirmation with a lot of power behind it. The traditional amount is 10% of your income. I’ve recommended this to lots of people, and they’ve told me that when they do this – magically - they seem to have more. I started with 10% but now I’ve increased it, because I’ve seen that the more I give away the more I get back, and the happier and more abundantly I live.

4. Being grateful for what you already have – focussing on the good that is already in your life. It’s easy to think about what you don’t have, but spend some time each day thinking about what you do have. Start each day by thinking of 5 things that you are grateful for – and express this out loud.

5. Resentment, jealousy, envy and self-pity interfere with the free-flow of abundance. If you are jealous or envious of someone, it implies that what they have is not available for you to have also. If you find it difficult to let go of these feelings, Bach flower remedies may help. Try the emedy ‘willow’ to counteract resentment and self-pity, or try ‘holly’ for envy, jealousy and greed.

6. Forgiving those that have wronged you is part of living abundantly. Holding on to your anger, however justifiable it may seem, keeps you stuck in the past, rather than going forward into a better future. If it’s difficult to let go of your negative feelings, try writing a letter expressing all your anger, hurt or envy. Write until you can write no more, and then burn it.

7. Being able to receive from other people. Being able to receive is healthy, but many people find it difficult. You may need to practice receiving. Think of the pleasure you get in giving. By not receiving generously you are denying other people the pleasure of giving.

8. Realise that in general ‘good luck’ plays a very small part in people’s life. (If you put your faith in good luck, then you have to accept the possibility of bad luck too.) People who put their faith in ‘good luck’ often spend their lives waiting for things to happen. People who don’t believe in luck go out and make things happen.

9. Believing that there is enough money, food, love, etc. in the world to meet everyone’s needs to live abundantly. I left this one till the last, because it can be very hard to believe when faced with war and starvation in the newspapers and on the TV, but a lot of this anger and need is caused because people who have do not believe they have enough, because they substitute money and food for all the other abundance of life. Do your bit to correct that imbalance and start living a life that recognises there are inequalities and shortages, but recognises that we can correct that so we all have what we need.

Refining the golden hour

In one of the classic personal finance books, “The Richest Man In Babylon,” we are told that the way to wealth is to “pay yourself first.” That a portion of all you earn is yours to keep. Great words, and just as applicable to your life itself. In other words, out of every sixteen-hours of wakefulness in a day, one hour should be yours, and yours alone. Not your job, not your husband or wife, not your kids or your parents. One hour. Sixty minutes. Thirty-six hundred seconds. Yours.

The question you should ask yourself is: if you only had one hour a day that belonged to you, what should you do with it? What CAN you do with it? Television watching patterns suggest that the average American watches over four hours a day—so we can’t claim the time isn’t there.

Lifewriting™, the high-performance system for writers and readers, maintains that with only one hour a day you can completely take your life back from the world, build to the career you desire, reach inner peace, get in the best shape of your life, and engage in continuing education—all at the same time!

The first trick is to learn to calm your mind, to center yourself so that you have a “clean stage” on which to perform. Twenty minutes three times a week is a great start, and once you are in the habit, you’ll start finding other times during the day for contemplation. Either focusing on your heartbeat, or counting deep belly breaths to ten over and over again are great stress-busters.

Next, you’ll need energy to transform your dreams into reality. Diet, rest and focus are important for energy, but one way you can catapult your physical energy into new levels is proper exercise. There are several forms of whole-body exercise that are far more efficient than most fitness routines. We’re talking exercises that simultaneously work all muscles, produce high levels of aerobic fitness, and actually produce a healthy stretch—all in less than 20 minutes a day! Check out the “clubbell” system at rmax. tv, the “kettlebell” techniques at dragondoor. com, or the “Combat Conditioning” system sold at mattfurey. com. These three are fabulous, real, hyper-efficient means of producing fitness. Three twenty-minute sessions a week will probably double your energy.

Now you get to be clever. While total concentration on your exercise is best, this is not a perfect world, and we must make compromises. Listening to instructional CD’s or audiobooks during exercise time is a great choice. Possibly the best source of such material is the wonderful Great Courses series available at teachco. com. The Teaching Company finds the best college professors in the world, and records their finest lectures on 30 and 45 minute tapes. The prices are reasonable (everything goes on sale at least once a year) and the breadth of knowledge staggering. The quality of the instructors is absolutely top-notch.

Ten minutes every day clarifying your goals is also a good idea.

Now, depending on how you’ve juggled your time (ten minutes goals, twenty minutes exercise or meditation) you should have about thirty minutes left. You can use this for making plans to move your career into a desired direction. Let’s be specific, and talk about my own career, writing. What can I do with this time?

Well, after a half hour of planning, exercising, meditation, and focus, you should be raring to go. In thirty minutes, you can produce 300-1000 words of text, IF you don’t worry about the quality of the draft. This is absolutely key to producing the volume that will lead to quality. Say, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, you produce new text. These are “flow” days, where you simply make a picture in your head, or let your fingers tingle (or however else you move into creative flow) and then type.

Then, on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, you edit. This is when you tear your work apart, polish, plan and dig in. DO NOT CONFUSE THESE TWO STATES. Editing and Flow are completely different parts of the mind, sort of Left Brain/Right Brain. Writer’s block is merely the mixing of the two, “editing” when you should be “flowing.” Separate them deliberately, and you unleash a creative avalanche.

Of course, if you aren’t a writer, these ideas can easily be modified. The most important points are:

1) One hour of every day belongs to you. Take it!

2) Clear your mind.

3) Plan your day

4) Raise your physical energy.

5) Take steps toward your dream goal.

If you will take these five steps, then you are on the path to the life of your dreams—one hour at a time!

Read your mind are you hoping people will

:
Do you or anyone else you know, expect others to read their mind?

This is a common trait especially with family, spouses and close friends.
You lose all control of your life when you do this. You are leaving probably the most important issues and decisions of your life on the hope that the other person will know what you are thinking and feeling. Then when they don't or mis-guess, well, then there is hell to pay.

Much of this comes from an underlining feeling of, If you loved me then... (Fill in the dots)

Did you know that this causes you to toss away you power, confidence and the ability to communicate with others.

The challenge with this, is that you are leaving yourself vulnerable to other people's wishes, beliefs and understandings. And most people misunderstand another without having the added burden of being expected to read minds.

I have seen people get upset and state that their birthday was ruined because the other person, husband, boyfriend, etc., didn't do what they wanted them to do. When I ask if they told them what they wanted, I get a No, I can't do that they should have just known.

Well if it is that important, then why don't you say so? Why are you leaving your happiness to someone else's guessing?

I have seen this go both ways. Men have come home and said to their wives, where is such and such. Or why didn’t you cook….? I left hints this morning.
Think about this, the other person was probably half a sleep and you left hints. Why not just say it. When you don't speak up, you don’t own your mind and you allow others to own it for you.

Sometimes we just hope others will know what we want and other times we may be scared to say what we want.

I was at a workshop and much of it was based in Quantum Physics and practical application. One of the important things was to be very

clear on what we wanted. This one person said a job. So I started asking what kind of job. Then she said research. Well, this too is a huge field. After several more questions, she stated out loud exactly what she wanted and said that it was the first time that she had ever said aloud what she desired in a career.

Many people are like this. They don’t want to say and sometimes even admit what they want and just hope that others will figure it out. Or, that it will magically appear. Well, quantum physics teaches that even the universe needs a hand and that you being clear on what you want can help bring it to you.

Quite often, the universe, source energy, God, whatever you wish to call it, is confused by most people's thoughts. We say we want one thing and then act or think in another manner. If we are sending out confusing and mixed signals, no one is going to know what you want.

It is up to you to first, communicate with yourself, get clear, make that crystal clear with what you want, and then communicate this to the people around you. Most people will be very relieved at not having to guess anymore.

One word of caution, if you are not used to speaking up, there is a good chance some people may try to stop you at first. They have gotten used to having things their way and even if they said it was annoying with you not speaking up, they would rather keep the control.

That way if they do what they want, they can fall back on the, well I had to guess what you wanted.

Over all though, when you take back your power and life, you will find yourself being a much happier, confident and self-empowered person.

Is what you feel a panic attack

Your heart pounds, your palms sweat, you start shaking, you get short of breath. You experience a fear that seems overwhelming that came absolutely out of nowhere, and for no reason. You could have been driving your car, or awakened out of sleep, or at your desk performing your daily routine at your job. Perhaps it's the first time it's happened, perhaps not. If it's not you probably know that you aren't going to die, but you feel like it. If it's the first time you are scared to death.

No one really knows what causes a panic attack to come on. Some medical professionals say that they can be related to heredity, some say to stress. Some say if you have a history of other mental disorders, such as depression or some phobias you are more likely to experience panic attacks. Know that you are not alone. It is estimated that one out of three adults will suffer a panic attack in their lifetime.

Some professionals have broken down panic attacks into three distinct types, spontaneous, specific and situational. A spontaneous panic attack would be as suggested by its name, one that happens unexpectedly. Panic attacks called specific are brought on, as also suggested by it's name by specific repeated situations, and situational panic attacks may come while doing a certain type of activity, such as riding a bike, even though there is no panic or fright involved with the activity.

Some people suffer from a panic attack only once. These may be panic attacks which are brought on by major life stresses and ease after the stress is eliminated. Some suffer from repeated panic attacks. The type of help you seek for panic attacks and the type of help you are given by medical professionals will be based on how many panic attacks you suffer from. Some health care professionals and organizations seek to treat people who suffer from infrequent panic attacks with a step program, similar to that used with alcoholics anonymous. Some medical professionals will treat more severe and recurrent panic attacks with medication. Generally patients who suffer from repeated panic attacks will benefit by being referred to a phychologist or psychiatrist for counseling.